Annoyed

Ok so I've talked before (several times I think) about how I get in my own way. How I self sabotage. How I struggle every day. Every. Day.

So is it a decision I'm making daily to struggle? Why do I feel the need to make this journey a struggle? Is the struggle necessary? Can I just stop? Have I changed my food addiction for a struggle addiction?

Could it be so easy to just decide to stop and it will happen? Dare I hope?

I found this tattoo on Pinterest and fell in love with it. "without struggle there is no progress." is that true? Do I HAVE to go through the struggle to make progress? Can't I just decide that I want to make progress and just do it?

Ok, so, I'm pretty tired today. I mean, really tired. I feel like it was finals week in collage.

 This is what my workout schedule looked like this week:
Monday: 9:30am
Tuesday: Off (I help out in Cassie's class in the morning)
Wednesday: 5am and yoga at 8:30pm
Thursday: 9:30am
Friday: 5am

My first thoughts are HOLY SHIT too. And then I think, "There is gymnastics workout on Sunday, I wonder if I can do that too." So right now I'm resting on Saturday, Sunday and Tuesday. I need to find something to do on one of those days. I think gymnastics on Sunday is the ticket.

I really struggled through this mornings workout. I'm not going to lie. Totally half assed it. I allowed my mental thoughts of being tired rule over my body. I THOUGHT I was tired so my body said "Yep, you're way too tired to do anything" and I said "ok" and didn't go nearly as hard as I know I can do.

I even said "I could have done better" as soon as time was up. ugh!

Another thing about me: I love quotes. LOVE them.

Here is one that is totally applicable to today:

"Wether you think you can or can't, you're right."

Although I am tired beyond belief, I have seen some great results. I weighted myself and I'm at 202lbs!!! I'm almost below the 200's!!! Don't forget I was 265lbs at my heaviest, and I haven't been below 200 since 1996!!! CRAZY!!

I'm excited to be able to shop in any store and not have to go to the Women's section. To have my only problem when trying to find clothes be that I'm tall (not as much of an issue as it used to be). To find jeans that make my ass look good.

I discovered that my calves have great definition! I was shaving and I flexed my legs (seriously I flex everything when I can) and HOLY SMOKES they are some great looking calves. Just need to work my way up the rest of my body. :)

I'm excited for the eating right and goal setting seminar at the gym tomorrow. It will be interesting to see what happeneds in the next couple of weeks!

Paleo

Here's the Paleo way of eating in a nutshell.

Basically, if the caveman can find it, you can eat it. If it goes through some sort of process after it's grown, then it's on the No Eat list. Bread, pasta, sweets, flour (any flour whole wheat or not), and refined sugar are among the many on the list.

Here is another good list of what I eat and what I don't:

It wasn't that hard to change over as I thought it would be. The hardest part was having the treats and snacks in the house for my daughter and not being able to enjoy them. Now I get physically ill if I eat something overly processed. You know, like Cheese-its. :)

I have had so many benefits in my body and how my body works to ever change how I eat.

1. Zits. I don't get zits anymore. I have been eating strictly Paleo for 7 weeks now, and my skin cleared up within 10 days and has been clear ever since. Not only has my skin cleared up, but my pores look smaller too!

2. Farting. I almost never fart anymore. And when I do, no one dies. ;) This is because most processed food turns to sugar in your digestive track. It's the sugar that creates gas and the only way to get rid of it is to fart.

3. Pooping. (I went there with farting, may as well keep going) I don't have much personal waste anymore. I eat clean foods so my body actually uses it as fuel and has very little byproduct from that fuel. And as with the farting, I don't have to use a ton of air fresheners after I'm done.

4. I feel hungry again. Eating all those simple carbs in the overly processed food for some reason made my body think it wasn't hungry. I could eat once a day and never feel hunger. It's was really weird and I didn't like it at all. I like to know what my body wants and to not have to guess.

5. Craving. I did have some pretty serious craving the first couple of weeks into this. I had to get creative for awhile when all I wanted was sugar. (I ate more fruit then I should have, but fruit is better then cake. I have since cut way down on the fruit.) Things sound good, like the bread basket before dinner, but I don't NEED it. I make very flavorful food. I change the flavors as much as possible so I don't get bored. I also vary the meats I eat, so I don't get stuck in a chicken rut (or something like that).

What do I miss most? Mexican. Think about what is on the menu at a Mexican restaurant. Beans, chips, rice, tortilla, cheese. Don't eat any of those. I do get fajitas and then eat just the meat and veggies. Well, it would be nice to have dessert every once in awhile that isn't a bowl of berries.  But that goes back to craving sugar and I don't crave that anymore.

Anyway, that's all I have right now on eating Paleo. :)

~And so we go.