It's been a week

I woke up yesterday and my first thought was when can I get a workout in. I then gave in and had McDonald's for lunch. Talk about UGH. I was feeling so good all morning and could hardly sit still, and then after lunch I didn't want to get off the couch. Talk about a huge swing!

I went to 24 hour fitness around 4pm. Cassie got some playtime at the kids area, and I got a 40 min cardio workout in. I did burn 500 calories durning that little workout. That did help me get over my couch potato feeling.

OH! The other thing I did yesterday was rejoin Weight Watchers. I think it'll be easier to tack my food and help with the weight loss. Yay!

So I did today's workout and although it was tough (it will ALWAYS be tough) I did pretty good.

 

Warm up:
100 Jumping jacks
800 Meter run - and of course it started raining as soon as I got to the gym. It was a nice wet run. :)

Ok, so here is how you read this. AWU = Active Warm Up, this is the second warm up. I did 42 (see the number next to my name?) medicine ball sit ups in 3 minutes.

Then came the workout. I had to do 20 squats, 20 meter bear crawl (put both feet and hands on the ground with your butt up in the air, now walk), 20 crunches and then 200 meter row. I did that 3 times in 15 minutes 30 seconds (see that time next to the 42 next to my name?). And I burned 452 calories. Yipeeeee!

I wonder what workout I'm going to do tomorrow. Probably cleaning... :)

And so we go.
~me

Painful weekend

I had no idea that I could ever be that sore from a workout. Geez. It was a tough couple of days, but I came through it. Some how.

My trainer saw me with my daughter at Target on Saturday. He could tell I was in a good deal of pain. He didn't want to approach me because he was worried what I would say in front of his daughter. I know I wouldn't have said anything that was rated R, but he didn't know that. I keep thinking of him seeing me hobbling around, looking like a stroke patient, and just knowing I was in pain, and all I do is laugh. He probably the only person in the world to know exactly why I was walking the way I was. I can only imagine what his expression was or what he was thinking, I just chuckle when I think of that.

He said that the goal there isn't to kill us, but to make us stronger. He doesn't like to hear the other trainers talk about the complaints other gym rats have. I told him several times that I want to work out hard, but I have a 3 1/2 yo and I need to function. He's cool with that. BUT, we didn't really know what my limit was. And I want to work hard so I just take what ever he gives me. I think we both learned something.

Today's workout was as fallows:

Warm-up
50 jumping jacks
800 m run

Active Warm-up
500 m row (2:06)
After the row he showed me the board of the top 5 women and men in all their categories that they keep track of. I did my 500 m in 2 minutes 06 seconds. If I did that on Friday I would have made the top 5 women. I am actually number 6, but they only do 5. SO CLOSE! I'll get on that board soon! It's nice to in my third workout and know that I am already good at something there. :)

Workout (14:43)
100 single jump rope
100 m run
Do that 6 times
I got through 5 times, my legs were just too tired. I did it in 15 minutes 23 seconds.

I then did a 500 m row for my cool down.

My legs are still store, but SO much better. Every step I take still has pain with it, but I can walk like a normal person now. Even up and down the stairs!!

Burned 400 calories according to my Bodybugg.

And so we go.
~me

Workout results...

Ok. So. I had no idea that they put your workout results on the GINORMOUS white board for all to see. I was a little heart broken to see a DNF (did not finish) for my workout on Wednesday. But I got over it when I saw other DNF's too. I wasn't the only one and that made me feel a little better. :)

I am having a real hard time walking today. My legs are like jelly! I feel like I'm only being held up with my bones! (Thank god for them!) I had to crawl on all fours to get up the stairs to take a shower. I couldn't even put my underwear or jeans on without sitting down. I then had slide down the stairs on my butt to get back down. Kinda humbling. But I didn't DNF! And I'm now clean.

I burned 425 calories as per my Bodybugg during the workout. I already can't wait for my message on Sunday...

I'm Done...

So about 2 weeks ago I went to Palm Springs for a MOMS Club event and I stayed overnight at a friends house. One of my Mommy friends carpooled with me and we had hours of conversation. I loved it.

One of then things we talked about was why can't I get off my butt and do what I know how to do and loose this weight. All of my immediate family members are all loosing weight, why can't I get motivated to do the same? I have asked many people this question over the years and I get no answer. My Mommy friend didn't have an answer either. Bummer.

After some thought about this I realized that I have to come up with the answer myself. It's not a question anyone but me knows the answer. Again, bummer. This means some time thinking and reflecting, not always an easy or welcome exercise. But I did it.

A few days later I was walking in Khols (department store) and I realized I can not wear any of the cute clothes. Not even any of the workout clothes. Oh, yes, they do have a "Womens" section but it is far from flattering or cute. That is when I realized I was done with this body. Done. I practically ran to my car and emailed my Mommy friend. Here is what I told her:

Ok, so after many conversations this weekend I am done with being overweight (fat). I just went shopping at Kohls and walking around wanting to wear the cute clothes but having the internal dialog of "Nope. Can't wear that. Too fat for that. All the fat girl clothes are UGLY."

I'm done. I'm done with talking that way, of thinking that way. It's time to fight for me. I don't feel good in my own skin. I can't just bend over and tie my shoe! So I'm going to get serious with making me feel good.

In talking about it for so long, and asking everyone why can't I fight for me, I realized that I was really asking everyone for permission to put my name on the list. No one gave it. Then I realized I had to give it to myself. I was looking outside of me when I should have been looking inside.

Holy shit. All that from 20 minutes inside Kohls. :)

Seriously. Holy crap. All that from 20 min inside Kohls. I wrote that email while sitting in my car because I needed to get that realization out as soon as I could. I sent that email on Monday May 2nd. I then went to my local CrossFit and joined on Monday May 9th and signed up! (For those of you who don't know what CrossFit is, here is a website for you www.crossfitie.com.)

Yeah. Um. What the hell did I just do? I was SO intimidated just watching the videos on their website. Talk about hard core. I scheduled my first workout for Wednesday. Yeah, today. I spent the rest of the day on Monday and then ALL DAY on Tuesday thinking about what they are going to make me do. I had a lot of self doubt. Am I going to be able to do ANYTHING? What happens if I throw up? Why did I do this? Am I worth this?

So I walked in to the "gym" on time and ready to roll. I am so out of shape that I didn't do much of a workout before I felt really light headed and then nauseous. After I got over all that I continued. It then happened again. My trainer said "you don't look good" and then sent me home with the warning that I might puke at home and it's ok. I didn't. (yay!) After some chill time I took and shower, ate lunch, and picked up my daughter.

I tried really hard to keep my self talk positive while working out. I think I did pretty good. I tried and completed almost everything the trainer asked of me. It might have taken me 3 times longer to do it than I wanted, but I tried my best. When the trainer told me to go home I almost wanted to cry because I thought I didn't do very good and I wanted to keep going. But, it really was for the best to leave.

My trainer said this should be the worst I feel. I won't feel so bad on Friday. Yep, I am going back on Friday. Actually, I'll be going 3 days a week. Hopefully more in the future.

And so we go.
~Me